I know this is going to sound soo strange and people are going to ask “what the hell is wrong with her? But bare with me.
I loooovee garlic. Wait, all those o are implying ill get it raw and i will definitely not. I looove cooked garlic.
I use it all the time in my cooking.
The problem with that is, it fucking smells.
And when you use it multiple times a day, a few days out of the week, it seeps into your skin,burrowing deep and implanting itself there.
It gets under your nails.
Horrible.
Which leads me to be the weirdo who is constantly smelling their hands. I dont want too. I dont think anyone does but I smell it.
I can’tĀ get the smell out. It may have seeped all the way into my brain, signaling down to my nose “heyyy smell thatt”
Washed my hands, showers, brushed teeth and yet I still smell it.
Its going to make me crazy, especially when my boyfriend doesnt care enough to help with a real solution
Me: babe, babbeee , smell my hand.
Serial Smirker: uhmm…no.
ME: pleeeeasseeee, it smellsĀ I swear, a mixture of garlic, cigarette smoke anddd hmm somethingĀ i cant quite figure out, smell!
* wave my hand manically in front of his face*
Serial Smirker : get the fuck out of here
Me: * pouting and giving him the big eyes* pweaseee just real quick i swear, a little whiff
Serial Smirker : *groans* you’reĀ a pain in the ass
* I shove my hand up his nose*
Serial Smirker : jesus, go wash your hands smelly
*deflacted I go wash my hands with bleach*
SEE wheres the wonderful soloution that will fix my problem. I was expecting some ancient recipe from the motherland that cleanses skin of garlic or something!
But nope.
I’veĀ decided to cut my fingersĀ off.
Kidding. Ha.
Actually, were gonna be laying off the garlic for a while. Or im going to buy gloves for cutting. That seemsĀ like a better idea.
Step 1 : buy gloves
Step 2: cut up a bunch of garlic
Step 3: smell hands
If everything goes as planned step 3 should accompanied by a more pleasant smell.
Garlic knots crossed.
Yes, yes I’ve been told I am extremely corny.
– J.Rose