let you have
your way today;
let you have
your way today;
I try not to
All the fucks up
Who I am today
I’m happy because I get the lover for the next TWO days! No interruption, nothing to do;just him and I trying to take over the world.
Of course we have nothing planned, why plan something when you got the greatest companion who likes adventures.( Im talking about me.)
I just go along for the ride, no questions asked.
Ive been in a good mood (kinda of) since yesterday, like such a good mood i wanna smoosh the lovers face between my hands -in a good way haha.
This time next week I will officially be driving in the car to NY- the longest 10 hours of my life but dont worry guys you’ll be along for the ride!
Anyways, I’m just rambling on.
Gotta go before he yells at me “you’re still sitting on the couch, get dressed!”
Why cant pajamas be acceptable?
I’m sooo bored. The boyfriend started his new schedule yesterday and it fuckings blows.
I have nothing to do. I don’t have a car nor a job, I do have a comfy couch and a TV. YAY.
I rearranged my categories on my site, deleting all of them except thoughts and writings only to realize ” hey, what happened to the quotes?” Which left me going through all my posts and fixing the categories( damn you bulk action!) , that was able to occupy my time for a couple of hours.
Eating by yourself is lonely, cooking for yourself is even worse lol. I’m so used to cooking for someone else that it just seems so weird to cook for myself. Yesterday I had cereal for dinner. Today steak and potatoes..sooo weird. I think ill put a plate out for Lex, not sure if that’s more weird or not.
Lately, besides the different array of poetry and quotes I’ve been coming up with, I’m stumped. I’m not sure what people what to read , let alone what I want to write. So I did what I do best- research, sort of.
I googled varies topic prompts and ideas for blogs and came up with a list of 69 things(a perfect number) that will most likely make an appearance sometime- so a heads up if more random things come popping up.
I vacuumed also.
I feel pretty accomplished she said sarcastically.
Pretty much sums up my current feelings. Talked with the boyfriend for a little while he was at work, but it just ended up me helping him write his paper and listen to him complain.
Had to get off with him, was just making me irked.
Planning on eating, smoking and watching tv for the rest of the night, maybe write some. Compared to last night I’m not really tired so ill probably be awake to he comes home.
Hope everyone had a terrific Tuesday!
The past is never dead.
for the perfect opportunity…
To mess things up.
Lex usually gets that text every month.
Its a special moment in both our lives, we have failed our duties as humans by not procreating but we have also sucessed by not procreating. Such a confusing time. Am I happy ,am I sad,who knows besides the pain.
Seriously? Cant I just get an email like
Remember this week when you saw that cute little dog on Tv and you started crying? Oh, ohh how about you wanting to rip your mother in laws face off with your bare handss. Or writing that creepy no friends blog…
Well its me!
Got you bitch, you’re not pregnant.
Enjoy the weekend.
See? Thats something I can forward to the boyfriend.
We can laugh about it and then go for lunch.
Instead you get depressed, angry,pyscho, needy Jas for the win!
Is it too early to drown myself in icecream?
Over the years’ friends have been found and lost; leaving me with only one companion, the boyfriend. That is fine and dandy but a girl needs other people to talk to; she can’t very well talk shit about her boyfriend to her boyfriend- we’ve tried it and let’s say it didn’t go so well.
I’ve met people on campus and in my classes, we would become acquaintances and then that’s it. We never talk again besides liking posts on Facebook. So I’ve said fuck it and the last few semesters I’ve been taking classes online.
I want conversation. Actually I need it, crave it.
That’s where my little activities come into play; part of my online activities involved me searching for a conversation, anyone to talk to. I know that sounds sad and desperate and in a sense it is, but I didn’t know what else to do. When you try to make friends with people as an adult its waaaayyy harder. There should really be a handbook for that shit.
This blog is a purpose to make friends, virtually of course, but I think that’s the best kind. It helps my inner introvert. I don’t have to cancel plans, I’ll always be an email away, and if your interests are totally outlandish, no worries I’ll never have to tell you that to your face.
All kidding aside, I know I’ve been a WordPress stalker, observing and liking peoples post(sorrryy) without really commenting, it’s not your guys faults its mine. I am shy if I don’t know you and I most likely won’t say anything to you unless you talk to me first. Then you might have to beat me with a stick to get me away. Clinger. Just. Love. Me.
I’m slowly opening these chicken wings and trying to fly, talking to more people (I think its 3 now guys!) well it more of commenting but fuck off it’s a first step. I always want people to be comfortable with me (shit this is getting creepy)
“yes…yess.. comfortable” *rubs tiny hands together*
Anybody like weird humor?? I offer plenty of that.
I wont oversell myself here because the actual reason for this blog was to get to know you.
No not you, move a little, the person behind you.
Ahh yess you!
I want to know you and not the way you tell your mom how your days been going. I want secrets… okay I gotta chill it a little, bring it in bit. I do accept secret but that’s not for now.
We can start off simple, a few easy questions (I won’t be surprise or bad if no one answers, just a little experiment)
Lex’s work schedule has been switched around because they are assholes. He works for one of the big car companies as a lineman;plus he goes to school. On friday they gave the employees a heads up, that starting on monday there’s a new schedule that has to be followed.
Hes pissed. I’m pissed.
But we both can’t do anything and its his job so we have to go along with this…for now.
He use to work Monday,Friday and Saturday from 5am to 330pm. He keeps his friday and saturday but add Monday and Tuesday from 430pm to 330am. The whole day,gone.
I have a habit of doing really bad shit when he’s away for long periods of the time. When I get bored. So hes not exactly thrilled to be leaving. I’m not sure how I feel right now,but I did tell him I would be blogging,netflix and smoking till I’m able to go to sleep. And that I’m going to be good.
How ridiculous does that sound? I’ll be good I swear. Ugh,thats what happens folks when you fuck around and fuck over your lover.
We only have to work with this Schedule for 6 months maybe 7 ..shit thats a lot..wtf. Wow so this is really draggingg me down and I cant let him see me like this so I’m not going to be thinking about the negative side.
Good news: we pick up the new car within the hour. Soo excited, turns out even more than the boyfriend. Pretty sure he got tired of me saying “guess what,guess what”
“this time monday youll have a new
carrr!” (Oprah voice)
I may or may not be inadvertently getting our cat high,which in return is giving her the munchies. I don’t know if its possible for cats to get stoned off of second hand smoke,but its possible.
We obviously smoke in our home; have a fan running so its not all smokey but sometimes it can get a little cloudy.
When the cats down here she munches on her food 500times a day. Its ridiculous,fatty.
The boyfriend mentioned how she might be getting high, I’m not too convinced but then I heard the sound of fast chomping and reconsidered his theory.
You may be alone right now.
Misery and pain,
your best friend.
Hopelessness and fear,
You’re confused and lost,
But,it wont last forever,
It’s just a moment in space,
A defining time;
That will break you,
If you let it.