Sex, Nut, Sleep, Repeat

MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY.

Yes this post is exactly what the title says. Obviously not on my part, I dont know any woman who uses the term nut to refer to her orgasm.

Nope, shockingly(sarcastically )this is about the man of my life. This is a repeated issue, that I now find hilarious. I’ve  read that some men do get tired after sex (or want a sandwich) but to pass out EVERYTIME, thats amazing.

I like to say he “cums all the energy out” and that maybe we should have a sex schedule,where his passing out wouldnt be a problem.

I was able to drag him to the store real quick before coming home and turning around to this.

image

Cat stole my spot as soon as I moved.

I’m  the type of person that after the deed is done I’m  hyper as shit already planning the other rounds if possible and if not then trying to solve world hungry.

I want to do things and if anything IM the one who wants the sandwich.

I love the sex its just afterwards thats a little bit of a  disappointment.  Stop being lazy lover and lets just spend the day naked. 

C’mon I fuck you to sleep and what do I get..great sex,shit I can’t really complain.

Oh wait, lover you gave me a massive headache.. is that a thing.. fucked so hard you get a headache?

Ahh well worth it, vicodin is my friend.

Mother in law Rant #2

Youu knowww,

I can’t hear you when you’re  at the top of the stairs, our door is closed-tv loud and you’re whispering some nonsense.

Uhm,did you think that through or more like “yeahh they’ll hear me,pstt pstt”

SPEAK UP.

KNOCK.

CALL.

Do something so I dont have to keep muting the TV or yelling back.

“WHATTT?”

“…store….milk….back..need…”

“Babe think your moms going to the store do we need anything?”

Yes, I hear partials and have to come up with my own sentences.

Aaaaaannoying.

You want to be nice I get it, its embedded in your DNA but somehow you always know when we/I am busy or watching something cool to whisper through doors.

PICK BETTER TIMES!

I know you hear the TV, we took the ceiling out of our living room so sound is amplified upstairs.

You’re  like a serial door whisperer.

Repeat offender. 

You’re almost at your final warning. Beware.

-J.Rose