Stop Talking So Fast.

“why are you talking so fast?”

“calm down”

” can you stop talking like that”

“what’s wrong with you, why are you talking so fast?”

” you need to stop.”

etc.

Oh I’m sorry that because you are listening too slow, you feel the need to criticize my talking.

I don’t know why I talk fast but I have since I was a teenager. My brain just wants to spit out the words in a rapid succession and I just talk really fast; leading people to look at me weird because:

a)I’m obviously talking to fast and

b)they may not be able to keep up.

I really try to slow down and tell myself that you need to breathe and slow the fuck down. But does it work, nope. It gets worse when my mood is good,  for instance, being excited about going on vacation. This past week I’ve been on a high( not only from the pot) and I’ve heard every single one of those sentences. And every time I was told something like that I wanted to die.

Seriously? You really think I like talking like this? Do you really fucking think that you telling me to calm down or question me will help me? No, I already have a million in 2 things I hate about myself and then you go and say shit like that. People wonder why I barely talk.

School presentations , a nightmare. “Can you try not to talk so fast?” Yeah I can try, will it happen , no. Trust me, I’ve tried. I can even “calm” myself down as much as possible and yet still as soon as I’m up there in front of the class, a 100 words per minute. And of course everyone has to criticize it like I don’t already know or somehow their words will spark an epiphany in me and I’ll be cured.

The boyfriend thought it would be good to say those things to me; every time they were said I just went silent,  I was done talking- not worth my time. I told him to fuck off and that he shouldn’t have said that to me when I was only being excited and wanted to talk to him.

Then I come home and within the first fucking day my mother has to get on my shit. I had just finished talking about whatever and then she goes ” oh jesus you talk so fast-doesn’t she talk so fast?” uhm thanks I appreciate that. Did you even fucking listen to what I said or are people too concerned about the pace of my speech.

I am sick and tired of people judging how fast I talk-fuck off, seriously. I don’t go around telling you how the fuck to talk . You are not helping, anything.

If you don’t want me to talk then that’s how you do it.

Which apparently in the last week, (which btw has been the most talking I’ve done in a while) is how it wants to be done.

I’m done. Minimal words and head shakes.

-J.Rose

 

 

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Pretty Sure I Need My Shots

You know the service plaza bathroom is disgusting, when you hover over the toilet and are still sure you caught something. 😐😯😑

Get me out of here.

-J.Rose

Sex, Nut, Sleep, Repeat

MATURE AUDIENCE ONLY.

Yes this post is exactly what the title says. Obviously not on my part, I dont know any woman who uses the term nut to refer to her orgasm.

Nope, shockingly(sarcastically )this is about the man of my life. This is a repeated issue, that I now find hilarious. I’ve  read that some men do get tired after sex (or want a sandwich) but to pass out EVERYTIME, thats amazing.

I like to say he “cums all the energy out” and that maybe we should have a sex schedule,where his passing out wouldnt be a problem.

I was able to drag him to the store real quick before coming home and turning around to this.

Cat stole my spot as soon as I moved.

I’m  the type of person that after the deed is done I’m  hyper as shit already planning the other rounds if possible and if not then trying to solve world hungry.

I want to do things and if anything IM the one who wants the sandwich.

I love the sex its just afterwards thats a little bit of a  disappointment.  Stop being lazy lover and lets just spend the day naked. 

C’mon I fuck you to sleep and what do I get..great sex,shit I can’t really complain.

Oh wait, lover you gave me a massive headache.. is that a thing.. fucked so hard you get a headache?

Ahh well worth it, vicodin is my friend.

Sleep: My Friend Turned Enemy

As of late, my sleeping pattern is a little crazy. At night, I can’t seem to shut my brain down and actually fall asleep;instead, binge watching netflix till my eyes hurt then lay in the dark and wait for sleep to come.

I eventually fall out, only to be woken up at 330 (AM)when Lex is getting ready for work. He  works 3-4 days a week, which means I’m  not just sleeping through the night; I’m sleeping an hour waking up till about 5 sometimes 6, going back to bed and waking up at 9ish.

I tired.

All day.

I have no energy or desire to do anything else but crawl out of bed onto the couch and wrap myself in a blanket all day.

During this time of season I do get like this (plus worse) but still  its a little early for this shit.

I just want to sleep normally.

Finals are coming up, well actually have two of them due this weeend. Did I start? Nope. And its making me realllly stressed. While the other parts like fuckk it you failed  this semester anyways genius.

I cant even say the at night I think about my classes, its just I actually get an energy  boost right before bed ( just my luck) and then a million in five things run through my mind : what are we eating tomorrow, today was so boring,  that show was awesome, you’re  going home soon,  lets stay up forever.

I’ve  always had an active imagination that didnt know when to shut the fuck up so falling asleep has always been an issue.

Lex closes his eyes and .5 seconds later hes in REM. Knocked out in the best feeling ever, while I’m  staring at him with hate and jealousy. Seriosuly, do people just like fall asleep like that? Must be an amazing feeling.

Instead I’m  like a child. Lay in bed before the actual  time and cross fingers it works.

When I was a teenager, to aid this problem I would just smoke before bed. And it worked, able to fall alseep within the hour.

It worked  up until a week in a half ago. Not sure what changed, maybe the blogging is getting to me but now I cant fall sleep.

I smoke by myself when Lex is sleeping, huddle under the blankets, that 70s show on, waiting for it to kick in, c’mon MJ help a girl out.

I think I’m  going to start taking sleeping pills. .I did twice. Once was with a Tylenol PM and it kept me up rather than out me to sleep, so that was a no go. And then I bought a bottle of Unisom and yeahh. Maybe I should take more than 1.

I’m hoping that in the next couple of weeks things will get back to normal because if not fuck it imma just stay awake.

Let the hallucinations  begin!

 

Mother in law Rant #2

Youu knowww,

I can’t hear you when you’re  at the top of the stairs, our door is closed-tv loud and you’re whispering some nonsense.

Uhm,did you think that through or more like “yeahh they’ll hear me,pstt pstt”

SPEAK UP.

KNOCK.

CALL.

Do something so I dont have to keep muting the TV or yelling back.

“WHATTT?”

“…store….milk….back..need…”

“Babe think your moms going to the store do we need anything?”

Yes, I hear partials and have to come up with my own sentences.

Aaaaaannoying.

You want to be nice I get it, its embedded in your DNA but somehow you always know when we/I am busy or watching something cool to whisper through doors.

PICK BETTER TIMES!

I know you hear the TV, we took the ceiling out of our living room so sound is amplified upstairs.

You’re  like a serial door whisperer.

Repeat offender. 

You’re almost at your final warning. Beware.

-J.Rose