And only when the family in question does not fully respect you because of your different background.
I am not speaking for everyone who is in an interracial relationship nor am I saying anything negative , per say, about being in one. I am; however, talking about my personal experience of being in one and why sometimes, not because of my boyfriend(entirely), it can suck.
I’ve been in this relationship for a decade; I love my partner, but sometimes his family, views and culture get in the way and makes thing extremely complicated. I’m not going to point fingers at a certain culture but I will say he is of European descent, while I am Hispanic.
Now, before I dig myself in a bigger hole, I want to state for the record, i would never, NEVER,judge someone for their beliefs, culture, or anything that makes them, them. With that being said, I do judge and mind when people try to push said beliefs onto me.
Lex(bf) and I may have grown up in the same area, but how we were raised is completely different. Unlike him, I am not family oriented, despite how hard they make me. I don’t even count myself as Hispanic, I’m America,plain and simple. Lex may not be as family oriented as his family would like him to be but he is way more than me; He considers himself more American too, but his values are more centered than mine.
In his family male and female duties have a strict line, yes the woman is allowed to work but there are standards. You must clean, cook, entertain, etc. Uhm shouldn’t everyone? Why is the woman left to do that.
“Sweetheart, If you’re gonna marry into this family you better learn how to cook,clean and speak some of the language.”
Oh the amount of times I’ve heard that come from his mothers mouth.
“Thats just what us women do.”
I don’t have the heart to tell her I’m stealing her son away and never coming back. I’m not going to digress further about his mother, thats for another post. The point is because I’m of a different culture I’m inferior in her eyes. Shes the nicest woman you’ll meet, don’t get me wrong,but she does have a tendency to say mean things disguised as niceness. Not quite sure if those are compliments or jabs.
I’m sorry I’m not good enough for you, but honestly I’m not even a “woman”. (again not here, for another post)
I was mistaken for the maid once when answering the door for a relative or something. Seriously dude? How original. Stop watching movies. Not all Spanish people clean houses asshole. It was one of the most awkward and offending times of my life, and I don’t even let things bother me most of the time.
The most offending time- I believe someone died in his family and traditionally people come over and they mourn and sit and drink. I was told not to be seen so I wouldn’t offend people; I was pretty much hidden away. That was the moment I knew there would be clashes in the future, that no way would I ever allow that to happen to someone and that his culture and stupid traditions sucked balls.
His father didn’t even speak to me for …hm, 8 years and I lived with them and still do. Oh god he HATED me, fortunately it has been downgraded to disdain, kidding, dislike. We, kind of talk, its more him yelling at me to yell at his son to do something. Or him mumbling a hello while he shuffles by. No one likes him, not even his family, so I’m not so upset with him hating me because secretly I like him. I get him.
Would he ever stick up for me like I do him sometimes, definitely not, but I get where he is coming from. Hes old school, different way of living. That’s fine, even though hes shitty,I can’t change his mind, so I’ll kill him..with kindness.
They think that I’m going to become this ideal person, that is just going to conform and become a fucking stepford wife. It’s never, ever,ever going to happen. I’m all about equality, luckily Lex is on my page and doesn’t push me. Honestly, the only thing that is helping us, okay well one of two things is his older brother went against tradition; married, divorce and married again to two woman who aren’t of his nationality.
I say I’m going to make new traditions and my own culture, bitch.
I’m a rebel at heart who doesn’t like to be told how to act.
Even though I totally ranted and criticized his family and traditions I understand them, just doesn’t mean I have to like them.