prenups and fuck yous

you say you

want a prenup, that

you don’t want me

stealing your money but

I already got what I needed

so I sit back and laugh.

-Jas©


bahaha chillddd support.. just kidding btw the baby daddy helped me finish this poem lol to clear things up a little I woulddd never want his stupid money only because I would want nothing to do with him after a divorce lol but  youll have a kid together.. and what does that have to do with me.. he can still do his fatherly duties and we can still be civil around the kid but know ill be flicking him off in my head. I have already told him if anything happens to us and we separate ill create an account for the child and hell just put money in there duh simple and adult of us. and no I don’t plan on us breaking up.. what he doesn’t know is hes trapped forever ill never sign a divorce only because I’m a bitch and he cant get married again =)

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I’ll Marry You For The Benefits.

Dear Boyfriend,

We’ve been together for quite sometime now, and you’re aware of my current situation-do the right thing lex,make it official.

I don’t want to pressure you into marriage its a huge responsibility with big consequences. I dont want your money, you can have your stupid prenup. I dont even want your last name (mine just doesnt sound right attached to it) But my insurance is about to be cancelled,leaving me susceptible.  I need your insurance. And your love of course. Duh.

You have really  good insurance, and me wants. Stop being a hog and share!

C’mon it will be fun,kinda like a green card marriage. You sign the papers and I touch your penis every one in a while.

Kidding. *shakes head no*

I can call you my husband and threaten divorce everytime you get me mad. I can commit a crime and you can’t go to court against me (wait does that just apply to the wife?). I can by you candy during that time of month and cuddle in our just married blankie (already searching).

See how much fun we can have,just for a tiny piece of paper that shouldn’t count for shit.

I say lets do it for the benefits,fuck the love😝

Love,
Your Pseudowife