the affair

Her lipstick stained

your shirtĀ like blood,

Crimson and unforgivingĀ .

Her scent

wrapped around you

like only lovers would.

Her desire,

captivated you

making you always

run back for more.

my heart,

my heart was in your

left pocket

while you had hers

in a locket.

-JasĀ©


found this and seeing

as I haven’t been writing much, or

anything worth sharing. taadaa!

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Sleep: My Friend Turned Enemy

As of late, my sleeping pattern is a little crazy. At night, I can’t seem to shut my brain down and actually fall asleep;instead, binge watching netflix till my eyes hurt then lay in the dark and wait for sleep to come.

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I eventually fall out, only to be woken up at 330 (AM)when Lex is getting ready for work. HeĀ  works 3-4 days a week, which means I’mĀ  not just sleeping through the night; I’m sleeping an hour waking up till about 5 sometimes 6, going back to bed and waking up at 9ish.

I tired.

All day.

I have no energy or desire to do anything else but crawl out of bed onto the couch and wrap myself in a blanket all day.

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During this time of season I do get like this (plus worse) but stillĀ  its a little early for this shit.

I just want to sleep normally.

Finals are coming up, well actually have two of them due this weeend. Did I start? Nope. And its making me realllly stressed. While the other parts like fuckk it you failedĀ  this semester anyways genius.

I cant even say the at night I think about my classes, its just I actually get an energyĀ  boost right before bed ( just my luck) and then a million in five things run through my mind : what are we eating tomorrow, today was so boring,Ā  that show was awesome, you’reĀ  going home soon,Ā  lets stay up forever.

I’veĀ  always had an active imagination that didnt know when to shut the fuck up so falling asleep has always been an issue.

Lex closes his eyes and .5 seconds later hes in REM. Knocked out in the best feeling ever, while I’mĀ  staring at him with hate and jealousy. Seriosuly, do people just like fall asleep like that? Must be an amazing feeling.

Instead I’mĀ  like a child. Lay in bed before the actualĀ  time and cross fingers it works.

When I was a teenager, to aid this problem I would just smoke before bed. And it worked, able to fall alseep within the hour.

It workedĀ  up until a week in a half ago. Not sure what changed, maybe the blogging is getting to me but now I cant fall sleep.

I smoke by myself when Lex is sleeping, huddle under the blankets, that 70s show on, waiting for it to kick in, c’mon MJ help a girl out.

I think I’mĀ  going to start taking sleeping pills. .I did twice. Once was with a Tylenol PM and it kept me up rather than out me to sleep, so that was a no go. And then I bought a bottle of Unisom and yeahh. Maybe I should take more than 1.

I’m hoping that in the next couple of weeks things will get back to normal because if not fuck it imma just stay awake.

Let the hallucinationsĀ  begin!

Ā