longer than expected

wow, so its been a few weeks since ive last opened my wordpress.

since my absence, the boyfriend and daughter got sick again, my mother came to visit, i got sick twice(including being sick right now) i went into a depressive state and was super angry and agitated with everyone.

Im doing a little better now, theres just somethings i have to deal with, eventually.

i missed writing but ya know when life gets busy and in the way everything else just drops away.

i will slowly be starting up writing again, i was also able to find myself some free time when the little monster goes down for the night.

Dont let that smile fool you, shes crazy.


cutest smile, ever!

Nothing special has really happen in the last few week, besides finally getting fucking warm! so happy that winter is over and we can enjoy the nice weather. We were all beginning to go crazy from being in the house all the time. Whomp.

Well little one is being a pain and keeps going into dangerous places so ill be back later.

heres some pictures just because =p

later loves xo



lazy Sunday

morning bloggers! 

no posts from me today,  I’m being lazy  and refuse to open my computer.  I’m refusing from moving off the couch and getting dressed..for now. 

I’m comfy with a baby in my arms catching up with shows from the DVR, i dont need anything else.  Well except food which the baby daddy just went to go get. 

Last couple of days have been a fucking drag, baby monster decided she was going to be a fussy, no sleep meanie. She excels at fighting sleep. The only way she’ll take naps is in my arms which is cute and all but i also like to go to the bathroom or wash some dishes..get things done, but its hard when its only you and putting monster down results in screams from hell. ūüėź

Baby daddy doesnt work today so I plan on pushing monster duties on him. Does that make me a bad mother? I just need 5 minutes without her scratching me or attached to my body. I love her i do, but i also love my sanity. 

I know youre probably thinking but aren’t you holding her right now. Yes, yes i am, im trying to get her to nap so then I can become a ninja and place her in bed.(which has been very successful this weekend) If she doesn’t nap we will pack her up and take her for a car ride which 98% of the time puts her to sleep.

those are my awesome plans for today, exciting! 

hope everyone elses day is going well.


September September September

well hello there bloggers!

its been a while, im not sure how long but its pretty much been forever. Last we heard i was going on vacation back home. Ive been back home for a few weeks now and while i did enjoy my time in NY, by time it was over i was looking forward to leaving haha. We were there for almost 3 weeks ( we extended our stay by a little) and i just wanted my king size bed and my own little sanctuary, oh and im quiet time( which i dont know why i would be able to get that)

i see that i have a shit ton of new followers! uhm thank you and how the fuck did that happen?! its pretty cool but a little sad since i havnt been the greatest blogger in the last few months.

currently im 6 months pregnant (woot woot) i cant wait for her to come so i can eat what i want again ha and of course to see her; im not all that selfish =) We set up her little section already (crib, bassinet, closet, etc.) There was no way i was going to help with any of that when im 8 months plus i get bored easily and it gave us something to do. We also finally decided on a first and middle name … Grace Penelope. Grace for my great grandmother( was such an awesome woman) and Penelope because uh i let Lex decide and he said it just came to him, whatever i like it. For now and probably when she comes we call her Lil G and she seems to love it. Lex actually came up with the nickname and i hated it at first but then i ended up calling her that and now thats all we call her haha.. poor lil G.

September usually means back to school but i had to come to the realization that I unfortunately cannot finish my degree until the summer time due to financial problems and wanting to take time off (winter) to be with the little one. Sooooo ill be sitting around,pacing , and looking for work online to pass some time.  It sucks but i gotta do what i gotta do. AND since ill have soooo much time that means i can come back to blogging and writing again( fingers crossed)

we will see what happens next and ill keep anyone interested posted haha

laters for now



New Schedule.

Lex’s work schedule has been switched  around because they are assholes. He works for one of the big car companies as a lineman;plus he goes to school.  On friday they gave the employees a heads up, that starting on monday there’s a new schedule that has to be followed.

Hes pissed. I’m pissed.

But we both can’t  do anything and its his job so we have to go along with this…for now.

He use to work Monday,Friday and Saturday from 5am to 330pm. He keeps his friday and saturday but add Monday and Tuesday from 430pm to 330am. The whole day,gone.

I have a habit of doing really bad shit when he’s away for long periods of the time. When I get bored. So hes not exactly thrilled to be leaving. I’m  not sure how I  feel right now,but I did tell him I would be blogging,netflix and smoking till I’m  able to go to sleep. And that I’m going to be good.

How ridiculous  does that sound? I’ll  be good I swear.  Ugh,thats what happens folks when you fuck around and fuck over your lover.

We only have to work with this Schedule  for 6 months maybe 7 ..shit thats a lot..wtf. Wow so this is really draggingg me down and I cant let him see me like this so I’m  not going to be thinking about the negative side.

Good news: we pick up the new car within the hour. Soo excited, turns out even more than the boyfriend. Pretty sure he got tired of me saying “guess what,guess what”
this time monday youll have a new
carrr!” (Oprah voice)

Snowy Saturday and Birthday Cake

Well its cold and snowy here today,which surprisingly I dont mind. I actually love the snow and was beginning to wonder where the hell it was.

Today is also my boyfriends birthday. The big 26. Do people say that? Lol they should. 26 is such an awkward number,technically it shouldn’t even matter. There are the big birthdays we can look forward to but 26…meh.

I wrote a couple of days ago about my gifts…things didnt work out as planned.

I was able to make him coupons,26 plus 1 for good luck that turned into 3 for good luck haha, what a lucky man!


You can see that they range from breakfast making to some sexual favors.

“Oh, i see you put all the good ones at the bottom”, he said coyly.

“Well,I was hoping that you would get tired of looking through them and give up,never having to look at them again.” I laughed.

“Soo,do i like have to tell you in advance or can it be the same day” while he split the cards up,by importance,of course.

” Theres an expiration date bitch so dont get to carried away”

Ah yes, I saw the wheels turning in his head, the smirk,almost maniacally as he meticulously studied the coupons.

What the fuck did I get myself into?

Confession: I’m¬† a little excited for some of them.

I told him about the scavenger hunt that was no longer, but he was completely unfazed. Why would he be, when he has f’n coupons.

The contractor for the new door came at 9 A.M (not happy.at.all.). We literally had a curtain in place for a door.


And now..


A DOOR! Our very own door, with a lock and key! We had that stupid curtain for,oh, I dont know 3 months. Ugh,can’t say I’ll miss it.

Unfortunately, during this process, the contractor, his wife and the mother in law were down here in my way. I dont like people in my space or interrupting  my me time.  But i understood,I made the sacrifice(Hid in my room),but still.

It took longer than I anticipated. Well between smoke breaks and gossip they were finally gone by 12 30. Then I had to rush to cut,bread and freeze mozzarella for mozzarella  sticks. Then wash dishes and put them away (I usually just like to wash, the hubby can put them away). Cut and prepare the ingredients  for pepper steak. Make and decorate cake.

And during this process, while my anxiety is high as shit, our cat, who DOES NOT like the new door, keeps meowing to go in and out,in and fucking out. Then she wants some loving,fine everyone needs loving.

A nice moment turned to shit when her fucking talons got stuck on my sock;a mexican standoff took place,literally one wrong move and you’re done.


But  unlike the cat who has nothing to do I had
to get out of there, so despite the menacing glare and the low beginnings of a hiss i slipped out of my sock. I should have just left it,lost forever to the devil, there are better socks somewhere. But nooo J couldn’t leave the sock behind, its mine. So foolishly and confidently I went in to take back what was mine.


Uhm, I got my sock back though. Was it worth it? Definitely fucking not! Does my hand hurt? Hell fuckings yes.

I hate you cat. I dont really mean it but at the moment i do since you are being  needy and mean because you dont like the new door. Well stick it cat!

The cake and cupcakes came out good as did the pepper steak. It wasnt till we were done eating that we both remember that mozzarella sticks are in the freezer. Not a surprise.. it wouldn’t be a dinner made by me if i didnt forget something.

All in all it was a good dinner or like the boyfriend likes to say a late lunch.

I only had to open the door for like cat 143 times and deal with her grilling me.

Now, we can relax (minus the cat,we’re not on speaking terms),maybe use some coupons and have a relaxing Saturday.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!


P.S heres a picture of the cake .. lets just say i like things different.

The Voices in My Head are Mean

Go away voices, no one likes you.

Wait? No one likees me?

Ugh voices, why are you soo intolerable. I think ive been good to you, to us.

You reside in the back of my brain, hiding,silent and still.

Waiting for the perfect moment, the right opportunity.

When everything is going good and I think I’m  getting better you show yourself.

Oh do you show yourself, a criminal,whispering, such a soft whisper at first.

Maybe I can ignore you,your not real,you’re  me.

But you won’t  listen. You keep getting louder and louder, a scream drowning out everything else.

You tell me I’m  not worth it.

I won’t amount to anything.

That no matter what I do things wont work out.

I hate you.

You’re  annoying me voices, go away. I can’t stand you.

I despise you and won’t  let you run my life.


I want my TV back!

The serial smirker and I over the summer decided to occupy his parents finished basement. Compared to what we were originally living in its more than enough space for the two of us.

We are used to having a TV in our bedroom, like most people, and we did have one in the beginning.

Actually there is a 1980s TV ( exaggeration but it still has the big back so im counting it) in the room now but with no cable box.

Our old tv is in the living room, which is fine since theres really no where to mount it.

My problem is thats theres no fucking tv in the bedroom lol.

I made a list of pros and cons of not having tv in the bedroom. Maybe it would  make me feel a little better,if not its keeping me busy from wall staring.

– No laying around all day
– No watching tv during sex
Р(going on from the previous point)Paying more attention to the boyfriend in the bedroom(conversation  wise)
– No more eating in bed
– More productive

– Having to stare at the ceiling or wall or boyfriend
– No more eating in bed ( top three favorite)
– No laying comfortably all day (another favorite)
– having to entertain myself..hm maybe thats a pro
– did i mention no laying around all day?? I knoww¬† but it’s¬† soo important to me; I tried being positive and putting it in the pro category but fuck that I miss it too much.
– no cuddles with the boyfriend
Рgetting so bored  you smoke cigarettes laying bed , with no shirt on, burning yourself
– actually have to be an adult and do stuff.

Its obviously blows not having a TV in the bedroom.

And its clear to see that most of my pros are also my cons.

I just  want it back. My eyes are already bad, watching netflix in my smartphone is making me blind.

Everyone should be allowed to lay in bed and not have to stare off into nothing.

End rant.

– J.Rose

I can bearly contain myself

Sooo I was scrolling through facebook when I saw this:



Uhm where the fuck can I get this.. seriously¬† right now. Its the most amazingly stupid thing I’ve ever seen.

Listen, laying on the couch or bed with a blanket is soo old school .. like the 90s or some shit.. but thiss, oh mannn brings napping to a whole new level.

And if this isnt real, it needs to be, I’ll help fund this!

I’ve always wanted to crawl inside a bear and rest for a little; I imagine it to be very warm and cozy with¬† a hint of rancidness.

Gotta go research for my new bestfriend.


P.s I am aware its a sleeping bag.