She reread their
old texts remembering
the good times;Â the
bittersweet memories
-Jas©
She reread their
old texts remembering
the good times;Â the
bittersweet memories
-Jas©
you’re the good times
and the bad ideas
the unforgettable
memories and the
regrettable missed
moments
-Jas©
It feels so bad
to be good;
unfamiliar skin
uncomfortable to
the touch;
alien thoughts
taking over mine;
I’m not myself
when I’m trying
for you.
-Jas©
I’m the bad influence;
leading you down
dark alley ways
filled with
cigarettes
and sex.
-Jas©bad
I like feeding
my bad side;
I have a thing
for trouble and
punishments.
-Jas©
Boyfriend: bring the whip
Me: what?
Boyfriend: title for your poem
Me: I didn’t ask…
well looks like I got myself a title =)
If I could take
back all the things
I’ve done against you,
I don’t think I would;
Despite how fucked up
 that sounds and how fucked up
they were-
They were my decisions, made
through my own emotions
and I won’t let you or anybody
make me feel bad about them.
-Jas©
I couldn’t get this out of my head last night, so here it is.
Lex and I were having a conversation yesterday, jokingly, about me stealing his money and other things.
Lex: “ yeah what else you gonna try and steal from me before leaving.”
Me: “ oh you know the only thing left is your seed.”
Lex: *shocked I said that* “well you’ve tried that already and we found out were not compatible.”
Me:*mouth open* “whatt?”
Lex: “ not like that ,you know one of us has something wrong.”
Me: “thaanks for reminding me about my poisonous vagina.”
“DNA does not compute,matches not found” *in my robot voice”
IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?! Can two people be incompatible therefore leaving no chance to reproduce?
That actually hurt my feelings a little because its something Ive been struggling with in secret; I do think I’m the problem and that my vag can’t handle it. Have I gone to the doctor for it,no because I really don’t want to find out I’m the one to blame.
A reason why we think one of us has a problem ( and why I think its me) and its not scientifically proven but I figure when you do everything right and the right time and you’re young it should happen a little more easier. I mean I don’t even have to search Facebook to know that 90% of the women I graduated with are mothers. Half the time it’s a one night stand and BAM super sperm and super egg unite!
Uhm, why can’t it be that simple.
I mean it happens all the time to women; they just get pregnant, sometimes they don’t even know.
I’m going to have to eventually go, Lex wants a family, I just don’t want him to be disappointed. I know him saying were not compatible is him acknowledging the truth but to be given an actual denial would be a serious blow.
I just told him about this post and how his words actually made an impact and he started laughing, I probably shouldnt have been saying it with a smile on my face.. but what can I say, we’re some twisted bastards.
Hope everyone else’s vag and balls are doing better!
Lex’s work schedule has been switched around because they are assholes. He works for one of the big car companies as a lineman;plus he goes to school. On friday they gave the employees a heads up, that starting on monday there’s a new schedule that has to be followed.
Hes pissed. I’m pissed.
But we both can’t do anything and its his job so we have to go along with this…for now.
He use to work Monday,Friday and Saturday from 5am to 330pm. He keeps his friday and saturday but add Monday and Tuesday from 430pm to 330am. The whole day,gone.
I have a habit of doing really bad shit when he’s away for long periods of the time. When I get bored. So hes not exactly thrilled to be leaving. I’m not sure how I feel right now,but I did tell him I would be blogging,netflix and smoking till I’m able to go to sleep. And that I’m going to be good.
How ridiculous does that sound? I’ll be good I swear. Ugh,thats what happens folks when you fuck around and fuck over your lover.
We only have to work with this Schedule for 6 months maybe 7 ..shit thats a lot..wtf. Wow so this is really draggingg me down and I cant let him see me like this so I’m not going to be thinking about the negative side.
Good news: we pick up the new car within the hour. Soo excited, turns out even more than the boyfriend. Pretty sure he got tired of me saying “guess what,guess what”
“this time monday youll have a new
carrr!” (Oprah voice)