wide awake 

I find myself

awake at night

wishing you

were here.

-Jas

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Loud Noises Everywhere

I know it may not seem that late but for me 230AM is fucking late or early depending on how you like to look at things.

I’m  laying here wide awake.

I just want to sleep but everytime I close my eyes my boyfriend snores like an elephant (never heard one snore but I assume very loudly)and my aunt talks to herself. No we are not in the same room. Just attached by a very thin wall-Im pretty sure I could punch through it.

First off, her tv is pretty  damn loud and because I’m  too nice a person I’m  not gonna tell her to shut the shit off. Secondly, this is not judging because its a serious issue, but she talks to the voice in her head,out loud and sometimes very adamantly.

Shes a night owl and all I can hear is the tv and muffled self conversations-uh can you guys lower it down in there?

Now back to the boyfriend-hes a snorer and idk if anybody elses SO is a snorer, but for someone like me who is a light sleeper and already has sleep issues, it fucking sucks!

Every 5 minutes I’m  pushing him onto his side so he can breathe better, giving me a false sense of quiet just to be disturbed again.

Dude get your shit fixed.

At home its not a problem because I end up sleeping by myself-not my fault hes the most deep sleeper I know and a couch lover. So i usually get the king bed all to my little self.
On vacation we have a 6’5 person pretty much squished in a twin size with me,snoring.

I rather have the 500 elbows hes been throwing at me then his snoring. At least, maybe one of his elbows will knock me out and I wont have to hear it.

I knew this was gonna happen and did I bring my ear plugs,no0o0o0o.

So I’ll  just be awake till my ears bleed or I commit murder,which ever comes first. 😇

-J.Rose

Uhm, You’re Scaring me.

*sleeping shaking body of boyfriend*

Lex:*low mumbles* “ahhh, heyy”.mumble mumble mumble, more shaking

“FUCK YOU!
DEAD! YOU!
Fuck you..noo noo.”

Me: *all the way on the other side of the bed,wide eyed* “uhh…babee…?”

Lex: jsjdbjejbab!

Me: fuck me!

I tried shaking him but then realized that is probably not the best idea. This has happened before, but I’m usually not almost asleep and in dead silence. Scared the living shit out of me. I’ve  told him before that he talks in his sleep and shakes but he never believes me. I should have recorded it,for evidence of course. Unfortunately, I was too freaked out to even move;I’ve  never heard him this angry or loud before.

Today he had some issues at work and I take it its bothering him in dreamland,sounded like he was talking to someone from work. Craaaaazy.

Well he’s  silent for now.

But still looks like I’m going to be awake for a little longer.

Sleep: My Friend Turned Enemy

As of late, my sleeping pattern is a little crazy. At night, I can’t seem to shut my brain down and actually fall asleep;instead, binge watching netflix till my eyes hurt then lay in the dark and wait for sleep to come.

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I eventually fall out, only to be woken up at 330 (AM)when Lex is getting ready for work. He  works 3-4 days a week, which means I’m  not just sleeping through the night; I’m sleeping an hour waking up till about 5 sometimes 6, going back to bed and waking up at 9ish.

I tired.

All day.

I have no energy or desire to do anything else but crawl out of bed onto the couch and wrap myself in a blanket all day.

image

During this time of season I do get like this (plus worse) but still  its a little early for this shit.

I just want to sleep normally.

Finals are coming up, well actually have two of them due this weeend. Did I start? Nope. And its making me realllly stressed. While the other parts like fuckk it you failed  this semester anyways genius.

I cant even say the at night I think about my classes, its just I actually get an energy  boost right before bed ( just my luck) and then a million in five things run through my mind : what are we eating tomorrow, today was so boring,  that show was awesome, you’re  going home soon,  lets stay up forever.

I’ve  always had an active imagination that didnt know when to shut the fuck up so falling asleep has always been an issue.

Lex closes his eyes and .5 seconds later hes in REM. Knocked out in the best feeling ever, while I’m  staring at him with hate and jealousy. Seriosuly, do people just like fall asleep like that? Must be an amazing feeling.

Instead I’m  like a child. Lay in bed before the actual  time and cross fingers it works.

When I was a teenager, to aid this problem I would just smoke before bed. And it worked, able to fall alseep within the hour.

It worked  up until a week in a half ago. Not sure what changed, maybe the blogging is getting to me but now I cant fall sleep.

I smoke by myself when Lex is sleeping, huddle under the blankets, that 70s show on, waiting for it to kick in, c’mon MJ help a girl out.

I think I’m  going to start taking sleeping pills. .I did twice. Once was with a Tylenol PM and it kept me up rather than out me to sleep, so that was a no go. And then I bought a bottle of Unisom and yeahh. Maybe I should take more than 1.

I’m hoping that in the next couple of weeks things will get back to normal because if not fuck it imma just stay awake.

Let the hallucinations  begin!