I’ll Marry You For The Benefits.

Dear Boyfriend,

We’ve been together for quite sometime now, and you’re aware of my current situation-do the right thing lex,make it official.

I don’t want to pressure you into marriage its a huge responsibility with big consequences. I dont want your money, you can have your stupid prenup. I dont even want your last name (mine just doesnt sound right attached to it) But my insurance is about to be cancelled,leaving me susceptible.  I need your insurance. And your love of course. Duh.

You have really  good insurance, and me wants. Stop being a hog and share!

C’mon it will be fun,kinda like a green card marriage. You sign the papers and I touch your penis every one in a while.

Kidding. *shakes head no*

I can call you my husband and threaten divorce everytime you get me mad. I can commit a crime and you can’t go to court against me (wait does that just apply to the wife?). I can by you candy during that time of month and cuddle in our just married blankie (already searching).

See how much fun we can have,just for a tiny piece of paper that shouldn’t count for shit.

I say lets do it for the benefits,fuck the love😝

Love,
Your Pseudowife

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6 responses to “I’ll Marry You For The Benefits.

  1. I’ve seen folks get married for worse reasons but I still prefer the old fashioned love for a lifetime ideal of marriage even if it does seem unrealistic and outdated.

    • Haha really? Now im curious! I prefer the oldfashioned ideal of marriage also. We wouldn’t marry for benefits even though we joke. I think we have been together for a lifetime anyways lol. After looking at the application for the license and freaking a bit, I can hold out for a little longer 😊

  2. My wife (German) and I (American) kind of got married for the benefits. In Germany the idea of living together with someone you love vs the institution of marriage is much more liberal than in the USA. But, we got married largely to make sure that we could always stay together without legal/visa hurdles whether we lived in Europe or in the States. This turned into a blessing when I had to be hospitalized in Germany and lost my job with an American company. Without my own insurance, we just had to do some paper work for me to join her insurance plan and continue the health treatment that surely saved my life.

    Married or not, I would still love my wife more than anything in the universe. She is my best friend. Being married… having that certificate just makes some administrative things easier. Plus it gives us the joke of having saved the credit card receipt for the fees. “What is the return policy for this thing again?”

    • Haha thats awesome! I do love and wouldn’t solely marry him for the benefits (maybe) haha. Glad everything worked out for you, from what I’ve read your wife sounds like an amazing woman. Haha thats hilarious, return policy,totally something I would do. I did get my own insurance lol we’re not getting married anytime soon, unless, unlike him im nice enough to marry him so his taxes are lowered 😂

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